The C Word
by Write Till I Bleed
Summary: Courage: The quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, or pain without fear. Logan was never the most courageous of the group and he's ok with that.


Courage.

That's a big word, it's a complicated word, a scary word at times, and sometimes courage can be dangerous. That one word can change a lot for people. You can finally build up enough courage to tell your wife beater of a father to get the hell out of the house. You can use it to tell someone how you feel. Courage can be used to do something that you thought you would never do. On a leap of faith, courage is something that can make life better.

Logan never considered himself the courageous one of the group. In his opinion it was Kendall. People would say Carlos was the most courageous with all the outrageous stunts he does. That can be considered courageous, but in Logan's eyes that was more for fun than out of courage. James could be courageous. Out of all four of them James whether he liked it or not was the most thoughtful of his friends. He was the one that would go above and beyond for the happiness of his friends. Kendall on the other hand gave up so much. He gave up a promising career in Hockey to go to Hollywood with his three best friends and start a boy band. In that process he gave up so much, but at the same time he gained so much more. In retrospect, Logan thought Kendall was the most courageous of the four.

Logan could read Kendall. Not as well as Kendall could he, but given enough time to let his eyes scrutinize his best friend he could do it. When Kendall finally convinced the others to go with him on a whim for a demo that might be a bust Logan could tell Kendall was scared.

The few seconds of realization and fear was a private moment between the two. It was the very night they arrived to California and were getting ready for bed. Logan just finished his shower and was letting Kendall know. He walked into their shared bedroom.

"Kendall, your tur-what's wrong?" He shut the door behind him and looked at his best friend pacing the room erratically.

"This was a mistake." Was all he said.

It took Logan a few seconds to figure out what he meant, but when he did all he wanted to do was hit his friend outside the head. "Kendall, we may have been reluctant about this but we're here. You can't change that now. I know you're probably regretting your decision, don't. If this turns out to be some failed boy band experiment then so be it, or if it turns out alright and we become famous then wooh. We're all in this together, so don't freak out."Logan smiled when he saw his friend calm down and stop his pacing.

"You're right. Sorry for freaking out."

"It's perfectly reasonable for you to second guess yourself about something this major. I mean if we fail we'll be the laughing stocks of Minnesota. We'll have to move across the world and raise alpacas just to get away from all the scrutiny and name calling."

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Not making me feel any better over here pal."

"Right." Logan grinned at Kendall. He knew something like that would help.

"You're the best."

Next thing Logan knew was that his best friend was hugging him. Talk about awkward for Logan.

"Uh, Kendall, why are you hugging me?"

"Because you helped. What? You don't want my hug?"

"It's not that, just the only thing I'm wearing is a towel."

After that Logan didn't see much of Kendall being scared. Like he expected there fearless leader was courageous and Logan loved that. Too bad he wasn't like that.

He knew he was the least courageous of the group. He took the most convincing to try anything out, heck, he didn't even like trying new food. If he didn't know what it was and what it taste like then he wasn't having any of it.

That bothered him. He always tried, but it was hard to be courageous when you had three other people around doing it for you. One of the few times he tried to muster up courage was when he was going to talk to Mercedes and tell her oh so gently that he wasn't going to be her new boyfriend, and definitely not dye his hair the same color as her purse. Too bad Kendall did it for him. He wanted to be mad at his friend but he was too grateful too care.

Things like that happened a lot. He would collect all this courage and then get it smothered by one of his friends. He could never be angry at them though. No matter how much he wanted to he couldn't. Each time they crushed the courage he gathered up was in a helpful situation. Whether it was bitching out Mercedes or something else; every situation was a moment was when Logan was in distress and needed the help. He wanted to be angry but couldn't because they helped him.

The one time he was finally able to stop his friends' courageous acts he wished he didn't. Since his friends always helped he scarcely had a courageous moment. They were truly rare and a sight. The most mind boggling happened when the four were lounging around at the pool. James was getting a tan, Carlos was in the pool with a group of people playing Marco Polo, Logan was busy reading the last chapter of Ender's Game and Kendall was complaining about how he and Jo got in a fight earlier that day. In all gods honest truth Logan wasn't really sure how he built up the courage on what he was going to say or why he said it.

"I LIKE YOU, OK?" Logan huffed and threw his hands up in the air forgetting about finishing Ender's Game. "LIKE MORE THAN A FRIEND, AND IT BOTHERS ME THAT ALL YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT IS JO THIS, JO THAT."

To say that was Logan's most embarrassing moment was an understatement. He had no idea where the courage to tell his best friend that he's been crushing on him since they moved to California came from. It must've been god playing a bad joke on him or something.

Never in his life was he ready to say something so raw and out there. He was ready to go to his grave with that secret. He didn't want to ruin what Kendall and Jo had. He may have not liked that they were in a relationship but he had nothing against Jo. She was a nice, friendly person who just happened to not like Hockey. Sure that made Kendall's friends wonder if something was wrong with her cause really how could she _not_ like Hockey, but Logan gave her the benefit of the doubt. Thanks to his open mindedness the two were still very, very close.

"Hey, Logan. What are you thinking about?"

Logan blinked a few times and saw Jo in her green bridesmaid dress. "Oh, just thinking about the first time I told Kendall I liked him."

She walked over to him and straightened his tie. "That was an odd day, wasn't it?"

Logan chuckled at the memory. "Yeah, sorry for ruining your relationship with Kendall."

"Perfectly understandable. I would have hit you if you didn't say you liked my ex boyfriend. Now I this amazing tall brunet as my amazing boyfriend."

"Logan!" The two turned and saw James standing at the doorway in his tux.

"Come on, it's time for the show to begin."

Logan nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat. "Let's do this."

James walked over and placed a calming hand on his friends shoulder. "You can do this; it's just two little words."

"Yeah, two little words that'll change my life."

Jo smiled and grabbed James' hand. "For the better though."

Logan sighed. "Yeah." He looked at the door and down the hallway. "Let's do this."

Logan was never good with courage. He never had to display it. He never had to use it in any way. The few times though, they changed his life. Always for the better.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together these two in holy Matrimony."

Logan looked up at Kendall and smiled. Courage was something he couldn't handle very well. It either came out in a stutter or in a shout like the time he told Kendall he liked him.

"Kendall wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"

"I do."

Kendall, was always better at being the courageous out of the four. He could handle situations far better than Logan could. One situation where Kendall showed this exuberance was when he cussed out this guy for calling Logan a fag. It was a sight Logan found shocking and somewhat of a turn on. He knew Kendall could be forceful but that much to protect someone he knew made Logan want kiss Kendall until he turned blue.

"Logan, wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"

Logan looked down at their linked hands and smiled. Today was his best day of his life, and why, because he was courageous enough to tell Kendall how he truly felt.

"I do."

So sure Logan wasn't the most courageous of the group, but in all honestly he didn't care. He had Kendall to be brave for him for the rest of their lives, and he was alright with that.


End file.
